Moonlight Legends
by sachiroyurei
Summary: Three humans stumble upon a lair of storybook creatures. Can two vampires and their household of unusual friends cope with living with humans? Or are they? Dark secrets lurk around the most unexpected... SasuNaru, ItaHina, GaaHaku, SakuLee, ShikaIno
1. Visitors From Nowhere

A/N: My second AU fic. This is kinda inspired by C h i b i O r o c h i m a r u's The 13th Hour. It gave me a tingly effect each time I read it and suddenly an idea came to me. I get inspirations anywhere and anytime. Oh yeah, the pairings are SasuNaru, ItaHina, GaaHaku, ShikaIno and SakuLee.

Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Kishimoto-sensei, not me.

* * *

Chapter One: Visitors From Nowhere

The night was bright as the sky was lit by the moonlight. Three more days and it would be a full moon. "Mwahahahahaha!! That's got to be the lamest dress ever!"

Kiba was laughing at Ino, who was taking out her useless clothes and putting them away in some closet. Ino narrowed her eyes. "Shut up Kiba, before I start wailing!" Kiba did that immediately. No one could stand Ino's wailing, not that she was loud but because of whom she is. Yes, Ino was a banshee and her screams and wails were horrible. The one who was always targeted was their shadowstalker, otherwise named Nara Shikamaru. That was because Ino screeches at Shikamaru because he's too lazy. "Ino-nesan, do you want to throw this away?"

Enter Hyuuga Hinata, sister of the banshee. And as you know, the sister of a banshee is a siren. Hinata had pale silver eyes and midnight blue hair, contrasting Ino's platinum blonde and baby blue eyes. Hinata has a lovely voice due to her being a siren. Ino stared at the pile of clothes in her sister's arms. "…No, I'll keep them away." Suddenly, they heard the door being knocked. Although the castle they lived in was large, the doorknocker designed at the main entrance was large and made out of pure brass, creating a loud sound. "I'll get it!" Lee yelled. He looked strange with a bowlcut hairstyle and thick eyebrows, but nonetheless an ordinary guy? Wrong, Rock Lee is a roc assuming the form of a human. As he opened the door, he found three people standing, two girls and a guy. The guy has sun kissed hair and crystalline blue eyes. One of the girls had pink hair and clear green eyes while the other had soft brunette hair and almond coloured eyes. "Yes? Do you need anything?" Lee asked kindly. "Ano sa, ano sa, can we stay here for a couple of days? We're travelling people," the blonde asked energetically. Lee looked sceptical. This had to be decided to everyone. "Um…come in first. I have to ask the consent of the others first," Lee showed them to a large living hall. A silver-eyed boy stared passively. "Lee, you know strangers are not allowed to be brought in."

"Yes, but they requested to stay for the night and I have to let them sit here and wait the other's judgement. I can't leave them hanging on the doorstep, Neji!"

Neji snorted silently. He was another being in disguise, in this case a dragon. He was cousin to Hinata by blood and Ino by exchange. He could smell that the newcomers were humans, not good if they were to face the owners of the castle. "I'll go call the others," Neji said, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning on. Lee turned to the three with an apologetic grin. "I'm sorry; Neji is a tiny bit introverted." He had already taken an instant liking to the pink haired girl, who was smiling politely at him. Usually, people will freak out at his look, but they had taken it well. "Please, take a seat first." The three travellers did as offered. Moments later, a host of people came in.

"Oh dear…Lee, you do realize the you-know-what, right?" Kiba asked as he sniffed the scent of the three. Lee nodded. Gaara just stood aside. He wanted no say in this as did Shikamaru. Hinata and Ino stared curiously at the three humans. But a commanding presence made them turn around to see two guys, both sharing similar features, one older than the other. "…I heard that you wished to stay here for the night," Itachi finally spoke. He could feel his canines tingle slightly, but he absolutely refrains himself from human blood. He was a vampire, as was Sasuke, his brother. Meanwhile, Sasuke was staring intently at Naruto. Being one that often keeps himself within the abode of his home, he had never seen anything that resembles the sun so much like Naruto's hair, and the whisker marks on his face were intriguing, even if he was human.

"Yes, well…After all this seems like the only suitable place to live because after we cross this point it'll be deserts for miles to come," the brunette responded softly. Itachi seemed to contemplate for a long moment until he noticed that Hinata wanted to say something. "Hinata…is there anything you wish to say?" Hinata jumped at being addressed by the most reclusive member of the household. "U-Um…A-Ano, I thought that we s-should let them stay. What they s-say is true, after all…" Hinata lowered her gaze to the floor and began twiddling with her fingers, one of her habits. Itachi watched the girl for a while. She always seemed to be doing that whenever he's around, but he knew the girl had a kindred heart. "…Fine…On one condition," Itachi answered. Everyone else paled.

"You mean to give them that?" Neji asked with a slight smirk. "B-But they're just!" Kiba couldn't say anymore or they'll be giving themselves away. "Follow me," Itachi ordered. The three did so obediently. They were going to be given a trial. Shikamaru knew it'll be troublesome. They were heading to the most dangerous part of the castle where many traps were set. Itachi meant for them to get by unscathed through a few traps to make sure they were worthy. They arrived now at a pathway with strange holes on the walls.

"The blond, what is your name?" Itachi asked.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" He answered with a grin.

"…Walk and reach the other side of the corridor."

"Huh? Whatever." The blond shrugged and began the short stroll, unknowing of the dangers. Everyone watched with anticipation as the trap was about to be triggered anytime. Suddenly, Naruto tripped and fell, causing the spears launching out of the holes miss its lucky target. Everyone sweatdropped as Naruto stood up and dusted himself, unaware of the scattered spears about him. Surprisingly, Naruto jumped over to the other side without even noticing the floor opening beneath him to drop him into a pit of spikes. "So nice to save the time by jumping!" Naruto declared, making nearly everyone anime fall. Though seemingly skill-less, he had the devil's luck. That was how Naruto passed his trial. Then they were lead to another corridor, this time with stairs.

"The pink haired girl, your name," Itachi questioned.

"Haruno Sakura," she answered with a bow.

"Reach the other side of the stairs."

Now Sakura was no fool. She had read that stairs were rigged, turning into a slide after you walk a few steps and then the bottom opens into an bottomless pit to swallow you. So she pulled out her favourite toy, to the surprise of the strangers, a skateboard. "Ready or not, here I go!" She declared as she skated downwards. It had been a little bumpy at first, but as she expected, the stairs turned into a smooth stone slide and she was skating towards a pit. With a delighted scream, she tilted her skateboard backwards and with the accumulated speed, she flew over the pit and landed with a skid on the other side. Everyone was fascinated. This girl was brilliant in mind. Finally, it was time for the brunette's trial. Before Itachi opened his mouth, the brunette said, "Haku."

"Get to the other side."

Haku's trial was the most difficult. There was a large gaping hole on the ground and the rope was directly in the middle. Itachi and the rest ascended to higher grounds. Soon, Haku found out why because a large boulder was rolling right behind her now. With a smile, she turned to the abyss and started running, not on the floor but on the walls and she pushed herself off, catching the rope easily and swinging to the other side. Everyone was shocked by the speed the girl displayed.

"…You pass. You may stay as you please. Sasuke, I hope you have enough self-control," Itachi warned his brother. Sasuke gave out a small snarl in return. "Wow, you have great speed for a girl!" Kiba whistled out. Haku smiled. Instead of a she, he replied, "I'm a guy." Once again, everyone picked their jaws off the ground.

"I'll show you your rooms," Hinata said kindly. She lost her stutter once Itachi was out of sight. "Thanks!!" Naruto yelled happily. They winced at his loud volume. They hoped that tolerating the humans were easy. Kiba smelt something different from Naruto, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. Kiba shrugged it off as a scent he picked off from his travels, though it was rather familiar.

* * *

"Sakura-san, would you grace me with your presence in a morning walk?" Lee asked. "Why not? I need fresh air too," she replied with a bright smile. Two weeks have passed, and Lee found himself falling hard for whom he dubbed his pink haired angel. His fiendish friends advised him that he was not to meddle in a forbidden relationship with a human, but he could care less. He knew that he truly loved the cheerful and bright girl, even if she was just a human. He was in love with a girl whom he knew for just two weeks. Well, they say love knows no bounds.

"Sakura-san, why do you travel around so much, and to arrive in such a secluded place?" Lee asked, curious.

"Well…you see, I'm always learning weird arts around and my townsmen hated it. They kicked me out. My childhood friends Haku and Naruto came with me and we've been travelling ever since. We are outcasts of our communities."

Lee felt sad on the behalf of his crush. "Don't worry! We like you for who you are!"

Sakura smiled. "Thank you, Lee-san. I'm just curious, but why are you people staying in the middle of nowhere?"

"Um…I don't really know but I was just travelling until I ended up here. I've been staying ever since," Lee answered honestly.

"Do you think I can stay here forever?" Sakura suddenly asked. Lee became tongue-tied.

"Um…uh…You don't really meet the requirements…Sakura-san."

Sakura laughed and playfully smacked Lee on the arm. "What, I have to be a creature of the night?"

Lee sweatdropped. ((You don't know how right you are…))

Suddenly, Sakura put on a serious and confident smile. "Don't worry, Lee-san. I'm sure I'll fulfil the requirements." ((Once you find out who I really am.)) Sakura thought sinisterly.

* * *

"……"

"………"

"…………"

"…Why do you like to follow me?"

Gaara turned to the pretty brunette next to him. Haku smiled. "My friends have found one of you to latch on to, so why can't I do the same?" Gaara gave an exasperated sigh. And this was very rare. On their first day, he just had to help him and now he was stuck with Haku following him everyday! "Can you go find someone else, like Neji?" Haku thought for a moment. "…No, he's too cold."

"Kiba?"

"He's too brash."

"Ino?"

"I don't hang around girls like her."

"Hinata?"

"I'm afraid she'll stress herself out looking after my welfare."

"Shikamaru?"

"He's too lazy."

"Itachi?"

"His eyes are on someone else."

Gaara stopped short. Itachi, eyes on someone? "What did you just say?" Haku looked curious. "I said that Itachi-san is interested in someone else. He might decapitate my head if I dared to go near him." "Do you know who that someone is?" Gaara asked. Sure, he wasn't the talkative type or the nosy type, but come on! This is ITACHI we're talking about. If the heartless vampire had affections for someone, this was going to prove very interesting. "Hinata-san, of course. I noticed that Hinata-san stutters each time Itachi-san is around and that the aura surrounding Itachi-san calms down to a gentle one when he sees Hinata-san."

Hinata, eh? This really was news. "…You're very observant."

"Thank you."

"Then what about Sasuke?" Gaara still hoped to throw the boy off him. Haku just gave another smile. It gave Gaara the fluttery feeling in his stomach, though he didn't know why it happened. "He…has his eyes on someone else."

* * *

Naruto, like Haku said, had latched on to someone, or rather, that someone latched onto him. Uchiha Sasuke had taken to stalking the lovely blond and his actions went unnoticed by his target. Naruto was in his favourite hangout, the library. This was surprising because who would expect a loudmouth to stay quiet and read in a library, especially when he seems like an idiot? Well, old folks say never judge a book by its cover. Naruto was currently engrossed in a book titled 'Dark Arts Of The Forgotten'. "Dobe, do you think you'll understand a complex subject like that?" Sasuke decided to make himself known.

Naruto glared angrily at him and pouted. ((He's really cute when he pouts…Wait, did I just think cute?! I'm losing my touch…)) Sasuke thought. "I'm not a dobe and yes, I understand what's in the book!"

"Really?"

"Yes! In this book, it's written that True Witches are created before birth in a special ritual. The ritual must be performed during a total lunar eclipse and must be lead by a true witch who provides an unborn child with powers from a demonic source, which must be named during the ritual. The patron demon that is to be the source of the witch's power must be at least of General Rank and the higher the rank, the more power the witch to be will possess, however each patron will only empower one witch at any given time. Only when that witch has died will the patron bestow his power upon another! Ha, this means one witch per demon patron! The witch's power depends on the strength of their demon patron and the demon may choose to give his power to another if his chosen one dies! The powers must be given to a baby still in fetus stage on a lunar eclipse! See, I understand!"

Sasuke was amazed that Naruto managed to remember all that though he read it once only. Naruto picked up the book. "If you're done insulting, I'm leaving!" As he walked out, he said, "And don't you dare follow me! You think I didn't notice but I did!" Sasuke tried to warn Naruto but he was too late. Naruto missed the stairs and went tumbling down. "Damn…" Naruto could taste the coppery liquid in his mouth. That was some nasty fall causing him to bleed like that. Some of the blood trickled down to his neck. Sasuke was about to insult the blond when he smelt something delicious.

Blood.

Naruto's blood.

In an instant, he was in front of the blond. Naruto was about to yell at him for suddenly appearing like that when he saw Sasuke's eyes glow red. He nearly didn't notice Sasuke licking the blood. Sasuke's tongue darted out to lick the dribbling blood friskily like a cat. He traced to blood from the neck to the corner of the blond's mouth. Without thinking, he captured Naruto's lips with his own. "Sasunhh…"

Naruto's lips parted in shock and Sasuke took this chance to slip his tongue in. Sasuke greedily lapped up the blood in Naruto's mouth, tracing every corner of the blond's mouth. Sasuke had never tasted anything this wonderful before. Did every human taste like this? No…For some reason, Sasuke was certain only Naruto would taste this thrilling. Naruto's blood was intoxicating and it was making Sasuke ecstatic. Sasuke was losing control as he pulled the blond closer to deepen their kiss. He caressed Naruto's tongue with his own, saliva mixing. Everything was still until Naruto shoved him away, gasping for air.

Naruto stared at Sasuke, bewildered. "Y-You perverted ice sculpture!!" He picked up the book he dropped and bolted. Only then Sasuke realized what he had done. "Oh shit…" Meanwhile, Naruto was fuming. He should've been able to react faster. Naruto touched his lips. That was his first kiss, damn it! But it felt so nice…No!!! Naruto shook his head. He was a boy, a boy!! Grumbling, Naruto spent his day in the room in the highest level of the tallest tower for the whole day. Damn if tonight wasn't going to be interesting…

* * *

A/N: I know the relationships are rather rushed, but a lot can happen in two weeks and it will be described in flashback mode in the next chapter, so bare with me. It's my first time writing fics like this, you know, with monsters or such. This is a list of what they are:

Itachi- Vampire, not affected by sunlight, drinks blood, never human, only animal blood. He is the owner of the castle. Crosses or holy water does not affect him. He softens up around Hinata.

Sasuke- Vampire, brother of Itachi. He shares similar attributes to Itachi. He has a fetish for Naruto.

Gaara- Wereraccoon, (A/N: That's what they call werewolves to in Japan. They are also known as werefox or werebadger,) He became a were through a curse. Insomniac, silent guy but he is constantly talking when Haku is near. Reason? Haku annoys him to no ends. He can control his transformation. He is a silver werewolf. His wish is to get rid of Haku.

Hinata- Siren, sings very well. Cousin to Neji, sister to Ino. She is polite and friendly, but stutters around Itachi. Seems to fear, respect and admire the older vampire.

Neji- Dragon, does not breathe fire. He is protective of Hinata. He likes spending time staring off space and watching out for Hinata.

Shikamaru- Shadowstalker, able to melt into shadows and control them. The laziest member of the household. Constantly scolded by Ino. He is more active at night. He hopes to get Ino off his case because he's an incurable lazyass.

Kiba- Grey werewolf. His transformation is affected by the full moon. He is a born werewolf. He is loud and able to control and command dogs. He treats Hinata like a sister.

Lee- Roc, a weird guy but positive nonetheless. He is good friends with everyone. Able to fly after transformation. He loves Sakura, a human. (A/N: For the time being, hehehe…)

Ino- Banshee, Hinata's non-biological sibling. Her screeches and wails are horrible, making her one of the most feared member of the household.

Naruto- Seemingly human, loud, looks like an idiot. However, he hides a sinister secret and it seems like he is pretending to be stupid. He is constantly annoyed by the stalking Sasuke.

Sakura- Seemingly human, a very intelligent girl. She is Naruto and Haku's childhood friend. She is rumoured to be dabbling in 'weird arts' and she is a cheerful girl. She seems to like Lee.

Haku- Seemingly human with an extreme speed. He is a very polite and lovely boy. He is very mysterious as to how he seems to know everything about the household. He likes to hang around Gaara. Annoying Gaara seems to be his favourite pastime.


	2. Valentine's Day and White Day Mayhem

A/N: Another of my neglected fics I finally update! Yes!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but the storyline, yes.

* * *

Chapter Two: Valentine's Day and White Day Mayhem

"Why isn't Naruto coming down for dinner?" Sakura fumed. "He's facing dilemmas in relationship," Haku whispered. "What kind of dilemmas? Who's the lucky girl?" Sakura asked in a low voice. "Guy, you mean," Haku replied with a soft giggle, nudging his head in the direction of Sasuke, the silent one. Sakura suddenly felt an inspiration to help out Naruto. "Haku why don't you go get Naruto? I have a wonderful idea," Sakura said with a large smile. "What is it?" Haku asked. "Well, we still have time tomorrow to make some chocolates. I'll just help Naruto make one," Sakura dropped hints. Haku smiled, getting the meaning.

* * *

"Naruto, help me out here!" Sakura yelled from the kitchen. "Ch'kuso, why must I be your slaves!" Naruto complained, but still went to assist his pink-haired friend. Hinata came in and asked, "What are you doing? It seems fun." "Hinata-chan, we're making homemade chocolates for Valentine's Day," Haku answered, stirring the melting chocolate in a pot.

"Valentine's Day?" Hinata mused.

"Hinata, haven't you heard of Valentine's Day?" Naruto asked.

Hinata shook her head. "Well, Valentine's Day is a day where girls give guys chocolates and gifts as a sign of love. Bought chocolates mean friendship. Homemade chocolates mean love. If they don't like chocolates, gifts are always an option. In return, the guys give the girls something on White Day, a month after Valentine's Day, which will be tomorrow," Sakura explained. Hinata blushed as she suddenly thought of a certain enigmatic vampire.

"Who are you making chocolates for?" She asked again. "That's a secret! Hinata, do you want to join us? You can ask Ino too," Sakura suggested. "Thank you!" Hinata replied gratefully and ran off to find Ino. "The girls and two guys spent the day in the kitchen, making chocolates. "We're finally done!" Sakura exclaimed after decorating the last piece. "Naruto, Haku, we're counting on you tomorrow!" Ino added. "Yea, fine," Naruto muttered. How he hated being postman…He didn't know how Haku dealt with the embarrassment.

* * *

Sasuke was never a morning person. He ignored the loud knocks on the door of his room. The knock stopped, only to come back as slamming. "Fine, I'm up!" He was surprised to see Naruto with a basket. Naruto handed him two wrapped packages and a note. "A delivery, have a good day." With that, Naruto left him. Haku was made to deliver to Gaara, Shikamaru, Lee and Kiba. Naruto's next target was Neji. He sighed. Why did he have to be made to deliver to all the cold, murderous guys! He was about to knock when the door swung open, revealing a stern Neji. Naruto nearly jumped. He was always freaked out by how Neji managed to expect something coming. "It's a delivery," Naruto stated automatically as he trained himself to say and gave him the same things he gave to Sasuke and left.

Naruto shook a bit at the door of the one and only Uchiha Itachi. He feared getting on the bad side of the fearsome leader of the household. "What are you doing here?" The question shocked Naruto he nearly dropped the basket. Itachi was already staring at him. "Ah, um…A delivery!" Naruto practically shoved the basket into his hands and bolted back to his room. Itachi looked at the basket and picked up a note inside.

"Chocolates on Valentine's Day. Chocolates on this day mean friendship or love. With all due respect, those who received chocolates are expected to give something in return by 13th next month. Give it to Naruto or Haku to help deliver to the ones who made chocolate just for you. Please attach your names on the gift so that it will not be mixed up with the rest," Itachi read aloud. Itachi looked at the only chocolate he got. Chocolate wasn't particularly his favourite food, but he'd give it a try. He nibbled a bit of the chocolate and found it surprisingly good. Dark chocolate, someone certainly knew his tastes. Only question is, who is it?

Sasuke hated sweet things. He was about to tell the dobe to take back the chocolates when he spotted a little initial on one of the chocolates. "U.N…" A chocolate from the dobe? Sasuke suddenly felt much obliged to try it. It was bittersweet chocolate, not too sweet and not too bitter. He loved it and decided to return a worthwhile gift…

Neji had absolutely no idea how to deal with the idea. What was he supposed to do for a return gift? He thought long and hard, who might give him a chocolate? He only got one, after all. Then it suddenly struck him. Who else but Hinata, his cousin? Obviously, Hinata gave him a chocolate in gratitude of their kinship. He knew now what to give…

Lee nearly wept with joy. Someone must love him to give him chocolate! Lee decided to prepare the best present for that person. Kiba's reaction was similar to Lee's. Both of them were now scrambling around for ideas on a perfect gift. Gaara had no reaction whatsoever. He'll deal with it on that day. He doesn't like chocolate anyway. Shikamaru sighed. This was troublesome.

* * *

"Naruto-kun, I'm counting on you!" Lee exclaimed. "Oh, shut up! It's embarrassing enough as it is!" Naruto exclaimed. He was getting uneasy with the smirk directed at him from Sasuke. He felt a bad premonition. Well, at least his condition was not as bad as Haku's for now. He seemed to be picking up all the big deliveries, and he meant BIG. "Haku, are you sure you don't need help with that?"

Haku's smiling face answered. "I'm alright. Let's just deliver everyone's well-deserved gift." Naruto shrugged. "If you say so." His first stop was Hinata. "Wow, she's got three gifts in return. She's such a kind girl," he whistled. "Hinata, delivery," he said as he knocked on the door. Hinata opened it shyly. "You're such a popular girl," Naruto grinned as she blushed while taking what belonged to her from Naruto. "Thank you," Hinata answered. Now he had to go off to Sakura's. "Sakura, your gift is here," he mumbled at the door. "Great!" Sakura just grabbed the packages. "But I thought you made one more for the perverted icy bastard. How come he doesn't give you a gift?" Naruto asked, curious. "Oh, that's because I put your initials on it," Sakura nonchalantly replied and closed the door. It took five seconds for her words to register in the blonde's head. "YOU WHAT!"

Naruto quickly gave the last presents to Ino before returning to his room only to find one large present inside, one _Sasuke_ gave to Haku to deliver. Naruto ripped it open, and was shocked to see it was a portrait of him with a smile. There was even a note with it. "For my lovely, _tasty_ blonde muse…? Argh, he's perverted and crazy!"

**What's wrong with it? The art's beautiful. Heck, I suppose even prettier than the real person!**

'**You shut up! He's crazy!'**

**Hey, I think he's pretty…delicious.**

'**That's because you're perverted yourself!'**

**Don't tell me you don't want him? He's every bit as sexy as his brother.**

'**We're here on a mission, not to find some guy to fuck, or potential lovers!'**

**Suit yourself. But when this is over…I'm gonna expect you to make some moves.**

'**Why me!'**

**Fine, you be uke. But I'll be making my own moves because I wanna be seme.**

'**Y-You…!'**

**Bye-bye! **

Haku however, was in pure bliss. He got a card from Gaara! He loved it better than Sakura or Naruto's present. It was simple, but at least it showed he cared. Sakura found a pink veil from Lee, and was honestly surprised that he could do handwork. Hinata had a carved dragon, and knew it was from Neji. A puppy plushie told her it was Kiba. The last gift was a pendant decorated with intriguing designs. It was a bird of sorts, and in its claws it held an amethyst gem. This gift came from Itachi. Blushing heavily, Hinata decided to treasure it.

* * *

Itachi was currently in a sort of dilemma. He wanted to know who gave him the chocolate. He dismissed Sakura as a possibility. It could be Ino, since it was no secret she was infatuated with the Uchiha siblings, or…He somehow found himself hoping it was the shy siren, Hinata. Among everyone in the household, he got along best with Hinata. Hinata was a kind and gentle creature; she helped around the household a lot. However, she seemed to be easily wound up around him. Itachi wondered what made the young female this way. One way was to ask the chocolate postman. He went off in search of Naruto.

"That's a very beautiful picture."

Naruto jumped. "I-Itachi…What brings you here?" Once again, Naruto wondered why he was so intimidated by the elder Uchiha. "…This painting, by my brother I presume?" Itachi asked. "That's right, he's stark raving mad! Your brother thinks I'm some sort of prey or something!" Naruto ranted. "He finds you fascinating," Itachi simply replied. "What's so bloody fascinating about a dobe blonde who loves ramen to death and has very bad reflexes who doesn't even notice his damn stalker mooching his lips until it's too late!" Naruto yelled.

Itachi blinked. Sasuke…kissed Naruto? Naruto's rants didn't stop there. "Bastard Sasuke's a damn gay who molests people when he feels like it and stalks idiots like me because he's never seen one before and he finds them incredibly delicious! He never stops bothering me and always insults me like what I just said and when will he stop with his ice prince attitude and stop stalking me!" "…I believe he's bi," Itachi said thoughtfully.

"Who the bloody hell cares if he's bi or not! I just want him off my back!"

Naruto heaved a sigh after releasing his pent up anger. "So, is this why you came looking for me?" Itachi shook his head. "No, I came to ask you who gave me Valentine chocolate." "Erm…I'm supposed to keep it a secret…" Noticing the Uchiha glare, Naruto let out some sort of strangled sound and bolted. "I'm sorry I can't tell you!" Itachi walked leisurely after him. "It matters not where you run, I will get the answer out of you."

Naruto didn't know how long he ran; he ended up in some sort of room. The room was entirely empty. "I think I'll be able to hide in here for…GYYAAAAAAAHHHH!"

* * *

"Haku, have you seen Naruto?" Sakura asked. "No, I haven't. Isn't he in his room?" Haku replied. "No, I guess I'll go find him," Sakura answered. "Naruto, where could you be?" Sakura muttered, wandering the hallways. She came to a stop in front of a painting of an apple farm. "I don't recall this paint-WHOAAAAAAA!" It was afternoon when Haku decided to look for his friends. Strangely enough, they were no where to be found. Then he noticed a strange sculpture. "I've never seen this…" Haku leaned closer to take a better look, supporting himself with the wall. "WHAAAAAAA!"

Meanwhile, Uchiha Itachi was having a little difficulty finding Naruto. He didn't expect the blonde to find such a good hiding place in his _own_ castle. Or maybe the blonde was lost. He'd have to ask Kiba to find him.

* * *

"Owww…Where the hell am I?" Naruto rubbed his ass to ease off the numb feeling from landing on his butt. Foul stench assaulted his nose immediately. "Damn, what's rotting in here? I can't see a thing!" Naruto groped around until he found a doorway and stumbled out to a dimly lit corridor. "Proper air at last! I must've fallen in some trap. Why the heck does the castle have so many traps? I nearly got killed by flying scimitars the other day…"

Naruto sighed and got moving along. Soon he heard slight shuffling sound, like cloth dragging on the floor. "Hey, is anyone there?" A little bit more of the shuffling sound came and then Sasuke materialized, but he wore something that looked like it was from 14th century complete with a cape, which was what made the shuffling sounds. Naruto laughed at the outfit. "Has your brain turned to mush? You don't go out in public wearing those, do you?" Sasuke made no reaction but came closer. Naruto became uneasy and edged back.

"W-What do you want?"

Before he noticed it, Sasuke had him pinned to the wall. Sasuke nuzzled his neck affectionately. "You creep, unhand me!" Naruto yelled, but Sasuke did nothing of the sort. His hand snaked down to Naruto's waist, holding him firmly. His other hand slowly unzipped Naruto's collar, revealing the smooth skin of his neck. His fingers lingered there for a moment, ticklish. Sasuke opened his mouth and bared…were those fangs? Naruto shoved Sasuke away with all his might and started running. "Argh, you pervert! Somebody help meeeeeeeee!"

"Ouch, I must've got into a trap…" Sakura dusted her skirt and focused on looking for a way out. Suddenly she thought she heard someone screaming. "Must be my imagination…" And then, it started. The sound of scuttling. It was faint, but it was there. Sakura paid it no mind, until she came to the lit hallway and saw the creatures responsible for those sounds. "S-S-Spiders! KYAAAAAA, get them away!" Not just one, but maybe a dozen. Not small, but the size of your palm.

Haku was already exploring the halls. "Secret passages, huh?" And then, he heard simultaneous screams. The next, he saw Sakura and Naruto running towards him. "Sakura, Naruto, what's wrong?" He asked. "That's what's wrong!" Both yelled and pointed in opposite directions. One was a horde of spiders, something hardly to be afraid of if you didn't mind ticklish sensations. Another was…Sasuke.

"What's to be feared from Sasuke-kun?" Haku asked. He honestly didn't see the danger. Suddenly Sasuke grabbed Haku and was ready with his fangs when Naruto punched him. "Hey, that felt good! Wait, why am I wasting time!" He grabbed Haku and Sakura and ran. With much relief, they burst out into the living room only to face Uchiha Itachi. "Naruto, you're not going anywhere before answering my question," he stated, but it seemed that Naruto wasn't listening.

"Itachi, your brother is insane! He tried to molest me and bite me! Then I escaped and he caught Haku but I punched him…He's coming! Deal with him!" Naruto demanded, hiding behind the taller man. Itachi felt suspicion. He had warned Sasuke not to show the humans any sign that he was…not ordinary. How can he be so careless? But when he saw the 'Sasuke' coming out of the hidden passage, he eased up.

"This isn't Sasuke. Rather…a failed replica made by Gaara when he was still not right in the head. Gaara messed around with cloning and did a Sasuke clone, but it's a failure because the clone has a thirst for blood. I guess it wandered the secret passages without our knowing," Itachi explained, adding a white lie about the blood thirst. "Well, if it turns out to be a failure, why didn't Gaara kill it?" Sakura asked. "Isn't it obvious? That clone is there as an additional _attraction_ for those who meet their untimely death down there!" Naruto replied. "It's heading this way," Haku pointed out.

Itachi simply cuffed the clone around his waist and carried him down back into the passages. "Yes and the monster is defeated!" Naruto cheered. "What time is it now?" "I'd say nearing the evening," Haku answered, pointing at the window. A little while later, Itachi surfaced from the hidden door and closed it. "Naruto, you haven't answered my question." "I can't tell you! It's a promise to…" Naruto's mouth was shut by Sakura, who smiled nervously. "Naruto, you don't want to leak secrets. It's the policy."

Kiba suddenly burst into the room, panting hard. Akamaru was growling. "Itachi, don't go near them!" Itachi backed away slightly. "What's wrong, Kiba?" "The first time you came, I smelt something funny on you, and I couldn't remember. But just now I went hunting, and I finally figured out your weird smell! Show your true form, fox demon!" Kiba yelled. Sakura chuckled darkly. "Oh dear, we've been found out." "That's alright. We've wasted enough time here," Haku answered. "Why don't we gather everyone here first, Mr. Vampire?" Naruto asked with a wicked smile.

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A/N: Yeah, it's done! Please review! 


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